Hitting Like A Girl
by do i need a pen name
Summary: When River hits the Doctor at the beginning of "The Impossible Astronaut" it is the first time for her that she has ever done this but the second time for him. Each wish that both circumstances could have been avoided. COMPLETE


**Hitting Like A Girl**

The Tardis always seems to be filled with action. People running and shouting and hammering away at the control panels. Travelling in the Tardis with the Doctor is always a nonstop adventure, always full of surprises and excitement.

But, every once in a while, the Tardis' occupants get the chance to just stop and breathe for a moment. They can pause and actually take the time to think about the mess that they've hopefully just gotten themselves out of.

Now was one of those times.

Amy had been rescued from the Silence. Canton had been returned to the White House and hopefully his job. And now Amy and Rory had wandered off in search of the nearest kitchen and a snack, while River was off taking a nap.

The Doctor sighed to himself in contentment. Running was fantastic, but it was always nice to end the day with his old girl.

"Staring at the console won't help to input any coordinates, you know."

Correction: River appeared to no longer be in need of any sleep.

The Doctor turned his head slightly to see that River was seated at the top of the steps that led out of the console room and into the rest of the Tardis. Funny, he hadn't heard her enter the room.

"I'm just admiring her," The Doctor informed her. "Care to join me, Dr. Song?"

River didn't need to be asked twice. She stood and made her way down the remaining steps before walking over to the Doctor and sitting in the empty seat beside him.

The pair sat in a companionable silence for several minutes before the Doctor broke it.

"Something is bothering you," He stated. "You don't usually go this long between criticisms."

"I don't criticize," River replied teasingly. "I'm just always happy to point out flaws that other people might not see. Don't worry, I haven't given up on getting you to take that ridiculous bow tie off yet."

"Bow ties are cool," The Doctor said automatically.

River rolled her eyes but chose not to respond. They sat in silence for another moment before she decided to speak up again.

"I'm sorry," She informed him, still staring straight ahead at the console.

"For what?" The Doctor inquired, also not looking away from the console.

"For slapping you," River replied.

"Slapping me?" He repeated. "But that was _months_ ago. I haven't thought about that in ages."

"All the same," River said, "I _am_ sorry. Not that you didn't deserve it, of course."

"And I'm sure you can't tell me what heinous thing I'm going to do to deserve that slap?" The Doctor questioned, a smile on his face because he knew what the answer would be.

"Of course not," River replied with a grin of her own, though it was forced. "Spoilers. You'll find out eventually, though. And you'll understand why."

"I suppose I'll just have to look forward to it, then," the Doctor said. "Of course," He continued, not noticing that the smile had slipped from River's face. "That slap was nothing compared to the last time you hit me. I'd rather a slap to that punch any day; I can't say anyone has ever knocked me out so quickly before."

"I guess I'll have to look forward to that, then," River replied cheekily, the smile back on her face, the subject of his impending death narrowly avoided.

"You really shouldn't," the Doctor stated, his tone so serious that River finally moved her gaze from the console to his face. "You really, truly shouldn't look forward to it at all."

He was still staring in the direction of the machinery, but River knew that he wasn't truly seeing it any longer. His voice was far away and River immediately knew that this was a spoiler, possibly one of the largest, due to his young age. That decided, she knew that she couldn't ask for more information, although she was dying to.

They've already compared diaries for this adventure; he hasn't spent much time with her at all. He barely even knows her, has already made it quite clear that he has no real reason to trust her. What could possibly have happened so early in his timeline that involved her knocking him out? River isn't so sure she wants to know anymore. And so she won't ask; she will just have to wait and find out in her own time. But still…

"I'm sure you deserved it, though," River finally said, her tone so lighthearted that the Doctor couldn't help the small smile that crossed his face at her words.

"I'm still not entirely convinced I did," He replied, "But my mind changes a bit every day."

River could not continue the conversation any further, however, because the Doctor was suddenly on his feet, spinning in circles around the console, punching buttons and pulling levers in a seemingly random order.

"Enough talking!" He declared. "I believe I've kept you out past your curfew, Dr. Song. I'm sure the guards are worried about you."

Later on, when River was alone in her cell again and replaying the adventures of the past three months in her head, she couldn't help but think back on the information the Doctor let slip. Why would she ever need to punch him so hard that she knocked him out? Only time would tell...

It was several years before River finally got her answer and she desperately wished it didn't have to be like this at all. But there wasn't really much she could do to change things now.

"I told you to go!" The Doctor shouted at her, and River internally cringed. This truly was not the Doctor she knew and loved.

"Lux can manage without me…But you can't." And then she hit him. A solid punch and he crumpled to the ground.

River quickly dragged him away from the machines he had been working on and handcuffed him to a post. She pressed one last kiss to his forehead and shook her head sadly.

"You did deserve it; you'll see in the end. It will _all_ be worth it."

And then she got back to the rewiring he had been working on. She had a countdown to beat.


End file.
